24 Hour Fatness

A few days ago, I went to the Aloha Run Expo. It was full of free stuff and games too. Best of all, I was lucky for once and won 2 shirts, a soda, a bag, a water bottle, and a multicolor wrist band. How great is that? Then 24 Hour Fitness comes along and ruins everything! There was this guessing game thing at the booth - if you guess your fat percentage correctly, they will give you a free shirt. I regularly check my fat percentage on my lovely fat scale at home and I am about 16%. The stupid guy at the booth poked me a couple times, criticized my relaxed posture, and came up with 27% fat!!! Not only that, he gave me a few tips to being healthy. He said, "When you stand, try not to bulge your stomach out. Stand upright, especially when working on the computer. Your fat percentage is ok but you can do better. Take some time and walk around more." I swear I was gonna punch his eyes out, kick his fat belly, and shave his ugly curly stinkin' hair (which by the way is sort of like Lionel Luther's hair). Then I will challenge him to a swim race where I swim backwards, continually kicking him in the face. Who the hell is he to give me "how to be fit and healthy" lessons when he obviously has not been working out for the past decade!~%$@!!!