I feel like...

...I haven't been online for months; yet, I sit in front of the computer everyday at work. I feel like I swam 100 laps; yet, I am out of breath at only 10. I feel like I have a million things to do; yet, I live lazily as if my to-do-list will go "poof" into thin air.

In the past week, my mind was taking a journey of her own. Daydreaming? Not so much since I was aware of my surroundings. Pre-occupied? Eeee...closer but I wasn't worried about anything in particular. Ah, overwhelmed and exhausted. My mind was like a computer that had too little RAM, so she was constantly working in the background trying to sort things out. Then she completely ran out of memory and was stuck in an infinite loop:

email professor a file on my research ... but gotta look for file first ... ooo, plumeria blooming ... reply an email about my old research project ... where is that stupid file ... gotta finish reading two fat reports on streams for meeting ... I forgot all about my research project ... gotta take notes on the reports ... eat dinner ... orchids still blooming ... looking for the file again ... crap, bought another orchid ... buy soil and perlite ... need to repot tonight ... buy outreach materials for work ... free tree giveaway ... resist getting more plants ... doh, got three more plants ... work website design elements ... what to cook for dinner ... headache ... gotta call parents ... who will water my plants while I am gone on vacation ... how are my turtles doing ... laundry ... wash bathroom ... visitors coming in two days ... pack lunch for work ... hydrologist think, think about recommending a flow volume for streams ... Flickr pro or not ... take pictures of my new plants ... update blog ... watch TV ... Tivo will run out of space ... pay bills ...

My mind was such a mess. I had a million things to do but I was so overwhelmed that I accomplished nothing! I can't seem to separate work from home, just like the old days. All I want to do right now is to sit in my lanai with my garden. However, I can't even do that because there is no time. Wake up at 6, go work, come back, swim, cook dinner, eat desert, sleep. I AM GOING INSANE! How does everyone do it? Just work the life away...grrrr.

Venting is great. Now I am tired and sleepy. I only wish I could be like my plumeria (see picture), watching sunrise and sunset everyday oh so peacefully.